On the road that leads to healing

On the road that leads to healing

By Rev. Dr. Dale A. Young

In the biblical account of the death of Elijah (2 Kings 2:1-18), the prophets asked Elijah’s disciple Elisha, “Do you know that the Lord is going to take your master from you today?”  And Elisha replied, “Yes, I know, but do not speak of it.”  A second time, the prophets asked Elisha the same question, and he replied, “Yes, I know, but do not speak of it.”  Like Elisha, people today don’t like to talk about dying and death even when it is in front of their nose.  Instead of using the “D-word” (death, dying, dead), we use euphemisms like “he met his maker” or “kicked the bucket.” Who wants to talk about it?

Grief support facilitators report that sometimes people resist coming to a support group because they don’t want to talk about it; they fear that their sadness will become more unbearable. We know that the opposite is true. We know that when people share their pain and grief, the weight of their own loss gets lighter. So, the question is: how do we get those individuals into a support group so they might discover for themselves that it truly does lighten the load?

Here are some suggestions that have been tried successfully.

• Instead of starting with a grief support group, begin by offering a seminar series on coping with loss.
• Offer a bible study series on biblical characters that have experienced grief.
• Instead of starting your own group, offer to do a seminar series on coping with loss to an already existing group (for example, a quilting group).
• Organize a sack lunch meeting with the topic: “Things people have said to me when I’m grieving that made me upset.” 
• Start a walk-and-talk group.
• Take a meal to the home or invite the grieving person to go out for breakfast.
• Build a memorial gazebo, a tree memorial park, or a butterfly garden and invite people to talk about their experiences.